


Monster trail (and green beans)

by tomlindaddy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, this is the worst one yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 14:05:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1607855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomlindaddy/pseuds/tomlindaddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this one is actually going to include h/l in an actual relationship "crowd claps* before h cheated with nick FUCKSHAW *crowd throws glass*</p>
    </blockquote>





	Monster trail (and green beans)

**Author's Note:**

> this one is actually going to include h/l in an actual relationship "crowd claps* before h cheated with nick FUCKSHAW *crowd throws glass*

"Awesome," Louis says as Harry stands up from his previous position on his knees, "Make it a little less gay next time."

"What do you mean 'gay' Louis lol i'm sucking your dick? What do you want me to do? Whisper 'no homo' as your potential children slide down the back of my throat?" Harry asks, and you would honestly thing Harry meant it in a rude or offensive way but he's still looking at Louis without those faggoty doe eyes and Louis just sighs in response. 

"You know what I mean, Harry." Louis runs a hand through Harry's greasy ass head, and it's affectionate, really. Up until the point where Louis has the wipe his hand on his jeans because he has sweat and dirt all on his hands. 

"Moans," Harry moans. 

KNOCK KNOCK THE FUCK KNOCK!

"Someone is knocking on the chamber door," Harry says, skipping to the door.

"Don't misquote Edgar Allen Poe you fucking abortion." Louis says, following him.

Harry giggles, opening the door. "Better being aborted than left as a child by my fath-" Harry gasps.

Louis can't see who's at the door because Harry is a big headed ass fucking giant (Nah fr Harry's head is precisely the size of a fucking basketball), "Who's that?" he asks when it goes silent for over ten seconds. 

"Hello," Says a blue skunk. 

"I think it is time that we had a talk, Louis."

*

"So- What you're telling me, Michael, is that right?" Louis asks, the skunk responds with a quick nod.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK BY FUCKING ALBINOS?" Harry screams because when isn't Harry screaming? Peep his solo in soml and tell me that nigga don't need to chill.

"Yes, exactly. You are under attack by an albino army." The skunk wiggles it's tail, running up Harry's shoulder. 

"I'm not quite sure what to say without being racist.." Louis talks to himself mostly, staring at the wall. 

"Well, I am just here to break the news to you guys, I wish you the best but i must run along back to the forest for my boyfriend."

Harry claps his hands in delight, "Ohhh, you have a boyfriend? Louis never calls me his boyfriend. I don't know why, it's like he's straight or something."

The skunk squints his eyes, "Yes, I do have a boyfriend. He's a rat. Nick. Nick the Rat." The skunk punches Harry with his tiny paw and scurries off. 

"What was that about?" Louis questions after he turns to see Harry crying like a lil bitch cuz a fuckin forest creature slapped his ugly ass with a fucking PAW.

"Nothing, just the air." Harry cries.

*

Later that night Louis is walking around the house reading about the Albino Army and what they can do to stop them.

"So- woo ruuns thes alybno armee?" Harry asks with a mouthful of banana. Bananas are fucking disgusting and they taste like fucking asshole and this isn't apart of the fic but that's probably why Harry's ugly ass likes fucking bananas the fucking ass eater. Not like he's eating Louis' ass cuz Louis don't play that gay shit, bruh.

"Uhm- So far I only know it's run by a three men and a woman but their features.. aren't too distinctive to the point where you're able to tell them apart." Louis chokes, hoping that wasn't too racist. Louis isn't racist, Louis liked the colored.. and non colored?

"Oh. Okay. So.. It's taking them a really long time for them to show up so maybe that part should get written in like now-"

KABAMAWAMI!!!!!!!!!

Louis' wall is broken in and no it's not Harry's wall too because Harry doesn't live here he FUCKING MOVED OUT LAST YEAR TO LIVE IN BEN WINSTON'S FUCKING ATTIC BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT'S A BETTER FUCKING SPOT THEN THE FLAT HE HAD WITH LOUIS WHICH WAS LIKE 5 BEDROOMS AND HONESTLY IT WAS A NICE FUCKING BLACK BUT NOOO HARRY'S A COCK SWALLOWER AND HE JUST HAD TO FUCKING MOVE OUT BUT ANYWAY BACK TO THE ALBINOS. 

"WE ARE THE ALBINO ARMY!!!" Screams the tallest albino in the group.

Harry is hiding behind Louis as if he isn't about the size of a fucking tree, "Who are you?" he asks, trembling cuz he a bitch like that.

"We honestly just fucking told you we're the albino army are you fucking kidding me." Says one of them, pulling off his albino cloak off.

"Chris brown?" Louis asks and his eyebrows shoot up to the top of his forehead and he gets those ugly lines on his forehead lol ew 

"IT IS I! CHRIST BROWN!" Says Chris Brown.

"I'm pretty sure it's just Chris-"

"DID SOMEONE SAY CHRIS BROWN!?!!" A wild Zayn Malik screams as he breaks down another wall of Louis' room.

"That's going to cost soooo much money lol you guys know I can't fucking sing how do you expect me to pay for that." Louis says, mumbling off somewhere to go count pennies.

"Anyway," Says another British person behind a cloak mask thingy (kinda like the KKK but under budgeted) "And it is I... Ed Sheeran!" pulling off his albino thingy too.

"Uhhh not this albino ginger cat mix faggot." Harry rolls his eyes, shutting his eyes shut with two fingers.

"AND IT IS I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NIALL HORAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Niall screams, taking off his cloak. Everyone just blinks at him.

"Chirp," go the crickets.

"He can't sing lmao" says Harry, showing everyone a vine of him singing more than this. 

"Lol no one cares about you Niall" Zayn says, pulling off from sucking Chris Brown's dick. 

"I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" A wild Fiore bursts through another wall.

"I'M SERIOUSLY GOING TO HAVE TO FUCKING PAY FOR THAT YOU GUYS WE HAVE FUCKING DOORS!!" Louis screams from another room.

"AND IT IS I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" A female but extremely manly voice rips off the cloak thingy. 

"SYDNEY OK????" "is that stylesfarmiga lol" I KNEW SHE WAS FUCKING ALBINO", goes around the room. 

"Let's begin the war!" Says albinofagmia, clapping her albino hands.

"Seriously? I'm kinda tired I thought this was only gonna be like 500 words..." Louis yawns, covering his eyes.

"Oh it is." A 500 foot, 25477445411545555lb Liam Paynes says from above, picking up Louis' entire house and shoving it in his mouth.

"Ah", Said the monster, "Now I will be fan fav." 

"No you fucking won't," Says the author of this fic. I then kill Liam buy completely canceling him out. 

Fin

 

**Author's Note:**

> ok this one i might actually be sorry for  
> bully me @tomlindaddy


End file.
